never play flip cup with pint glasses
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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