I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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