Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Randomize
