if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
