I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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