How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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