Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I love you. Go after that dick
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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