Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
