VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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