I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
You work out of a Hotel?
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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