Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
they're like a gay fantastic four
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
