so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
