Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize