Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I am available for nakedness
Randomize
