Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
