Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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