just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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