Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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