Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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