I heard we made out
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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