she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
