so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Randomize
