idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
