didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
