direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
