I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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