He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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