I feel great
I just peed on a car
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
