Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
