Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I wish I only lived at night.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
