just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
She announced her abortion via fbk
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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