the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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