If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Why did my mother make you get naked?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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