fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
You made out with two different species that night
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
