My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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