Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
