he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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