covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize