she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
