I will die if light touches me.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
