Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
