I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
