Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
