If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize