Did you just see the Batmobile???
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
