she looked like the bat from fern gully.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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