I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize
