oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
