Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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