Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
We need to rekindle our bromance
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
