im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
