I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
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