dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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