just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
