i already hear my dad disowning me
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
