Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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