pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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