Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
