Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
