you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
