is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
