You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
